So I am having a pretty good day.......seeing clients, practicing self care (eating decently and forcing myself to do bike rides regularly). I settle in after a decent day, open my Facebook and......BAM, there is a 'this is what happened this day last year' message FROM MY SISTER (who died June 7th). The tears start flowing, the memories flood back, the pain in my heart and soul are back in full force.
I am a grief counselor. I get it. I know that when you lose someone, or a marriage/relationship, or a job, or a house you love, or your kid goes to be with her dad for the week.......you grieve. I get that grief comes in waves. But sometimes it comes in TIDAL waves! Bam. I think the hardest thing about grief is how UNPREDICTABLE it is. I was having a great day, for heaven's sake! Thanks, Facebook!
The thing I have learned and that I teach clients is to just be kind and gentle no matter what. We just can't be on a time-schedule when it comes to grief. If it was a diet, we would have to allow for losing 5 pounds but gaining back 2 from time to time. It's up and down.......AND THIS HAS TO BE OKAY.
So that night I cried a little, snacked a little and allowed myself to disappear into crap TV. The world didn't end even though I didn't 'accomplish' anything. It's okay to be normal, to be human, to screw up, to fall short.
I miss my sister. I miss my dad. 2 huge losses in 3 years is rough.....even for a 'professional'. Cause guess what, we are just all doing the best we can!
Hang in there..............hang on!! The sun DOES always come back out after even the worst of storms!! I promise!