I’ve recently had a slew of women coming to me for painful boyfriend issues. This is always the worst kind of pain/loss and I love helping them find their feet again. These have been smart, capable, successful women, completely devastated and disempowered by men who don’t seem at all ‘good enough’ for them. WHAT IS THAT??? We’ve all had our experiences with ‘bad boys’ or men who don’t show up. ‘I’ll change’ is a common statement from these guys who don’t seem grown up, don’t do what they say, don’t treat us the way we should be treated. We’ve all been there but what to do when it’s time to clear the slate and start dating ‘good guys’? Some ideas:

~ Get into therapy and look at your old patterns/experiences that have taught you to settle for being treated unkindly.
~ Look at what you truly want out of life. Life is short and if you plan to build a nourishing life with a partner, it’s best to get on with it!
~ Write out the ‘history’ of your times with current guy. If you were reading this, as in a novel, would you want to shake ‘your’ shoulders?????? What comes to you as you read this objectively!
~ Look at what you tell yourself when you think of breaking it off. Do you hear things like ‘no one else will love me’ or ‘he will change any day now’? Is that true? Really?
~ Truly examine what you deserve. Honestly. Do you tell yourself (down in the depths of your soul) that you don’t deserve to ‘have a good guy’? Or that ‘he’s the best you can get’? Every person deserves to be loved, it is our birthright. If you are truly honest with yourself, you will see what is driving your need to stay in an unsatisfying relationship.

So get honest……..be brave………dare to dream of a truly good relationship and then get a great therapist to work it out!!

You can do this!